The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
