I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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