is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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