so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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