About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
