you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize