I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
