gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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