just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
