is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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