DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
