Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
