You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize