Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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