i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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