i think my tv is drunk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
