dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize