Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
