My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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