this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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