imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i dont even know how to be here
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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