He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
