She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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