therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
