You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
