Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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