You just made me feel so damn special
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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