I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
