uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
