Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
