You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A+ Viking dick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
