I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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