Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
