I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
