im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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