just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
