I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dating After Heartbreak
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad