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• (317): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?

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• (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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• (925): View more from California

  So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (253): View more from Washington

  she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

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