I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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