dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize