But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
