does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
