the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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