I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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