Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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