I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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