adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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