i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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