Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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