This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
