You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
