you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize