Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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