At least make sure they are 18
Why
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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