R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
