I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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