Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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