i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
