im having a threesome with these popsicles
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
