make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
